Oneness Is Like An Everything Bagel
Updated: Dec 9, 2019
I call myself a metaphysical, mystical mutt.
For my entire life, I have believed in a Power-Presence that is beyond description. A palpable Love that pulsates through every living thing seen and unseen. This sacred mystery has driven me for years in search of answers but has led me to only questions.
This book is a journey through the layers of unraveling my ego and uncertainty and finding solace in the depths of silence from which the greatest revelations arose.
A Beloved of mine was out of town walking along when a Hare Krishna devotee came up and handed her a Bhagavad-Gita, their sacred text. Upon arriving back in Dallas and telling me, I reassured her there is a deep, abiding Wisdom in those pages weaving the tapestry of Universal Truth. She couldn’t pronounce the name so jokingly thanked me for wanting to read passages to her from the “Bagel Gita.“ I replied, “Oneness is like an everything bagel,” from which this book arises. “Bestseller,” she replied.
My journey is not unique but in many ways it is. Not everyone is compelled at childhood to discover the Divine in the details of life. Not everyone is drawn into the mystical realms of exploring consciousness. Not everyone swirls like a Sufi so in love with a greater Reality that we have dubbed it Mother-Father-God.
I was. I still am.
My earliest memory is a faded one with torn edges, like an archived photo, imprinted upon my mind. I am on my rocking horse in my backyard on Gilbert Ave down the street from Holy Trinity Catholic church. I see myself with sunglasses on, rocking back and forth in song to God. As happy as I could be at 5 years old, I felt the Presence and was singing love songs to the ONE.
Is this a real memory or one forged by an innocence that seeks the arms of the Beloved for comfort in a world too harsh for such a sensitive soul?
I don’t know. But it stands out and has for years.
This sweet Catholic girl who could not understand an angry, jealous God who seemed to need therapy also could not accept patriarchy and the toxic masculinity that deprived the women of the Divine Feminine. How could only one half of the Universe be acknowledged? I had deep abiding questions but was too shy and timid to ask. The nuns were known to squash any hint of doubt or denial as opposed to my current path which honors the journey of the question mark.
As a child, I turned to Mother Mary for comfort. She was the ultimate of Mamma Mia’s in her sapphire robe that wrapped itself around me in the most distressful thoughts of this earth plane.
As the little mystic at Holy Trinity (where we left after my 3rd grade year), I was so enamored with prayer that I began the Angel Club in 2nd grade with the support of Sr. Carol. A small group of us would meet in the chapel at the convent during lunch and pray. That too is a faded memory. I keep the card that she gave me on my altar with the P (which I have no idea what that means along with JHY) and the word LOVE. “Veronica, May you always be close to Jesus and have his Peace. Sister Carol.” Somehow, my mother used it to write two words on it that I cannot decipher.
LOVE. That has always been my touchstone of TRUTH that this Infinite Presence that I call God, the Divine, the Beloved is LOVE made manifest. Each one of us is that perfect expression of LOVE. The fall was from Grace, the amnesia is the false sense of separation. The wave is not separate from the Ocean, the drop is merely the individualized expression of the vastness of the DIVINE.
This is a journey of awakening but truly one of deep curiosity, confusion, connection and compassion arriving in every heartbeat back to that INFINITE LOVE that pulsates as my being.
As I unravel my own story to strip it of all of my projections and naïve assumptions, I will traverse my journals, like a consciousness archeologist I will lift every brick, dig through every doubt and illuminate the stepping stones that led me here and follow the next ones that arrive.
My path as an Ordained Minister for Centers for Spiritual Living and the exquisite training I received along the way including a Masters in Consciousness Studies reveals the route of moving from an external, pissed off deity who needs more Love than he seems to be able to give to the eternal, Infinite Presence and the ability to co-create my life as the great Master Teacher Jesus taught. That is just my humble way of understanding. Do what works for you. Let me be with my own path.
This is not a place of comparing or complaining. This is my humble journey. It’s not about being a Cafeteria Spiritualist. Each step along the way connected a past life to present moment attractions, remembrances and desires. From the chanting of Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo in a Hollywood Producer’s hilltop home to the tears ready to flow at the evening prayers of a Richardson mosque, the devotees dancing to the Maha Mantra of Hare Krishna, or to the children’s Christmas choir at my childhood church, St. Pius X Catholic in Dallas.
All of it weaves a tapestry of the Oneness revealing itself. Like a bagel, deliciously so.
***(A Work in Progress, this book will unfold in a series of essays of living a life awake, aware and so alive to the Divine even in the depths of grief and the heights of love and laughter.)