I am not sure when I wrote this. As I was preparing for my service today on "Conscious Gratitude" somehow this article came up and was pasted on my Notes page. I love it when the angels are so direct.
Currently, I am wrapping up Notebook #164. So much more has unfolded since the notebook I list below. So, so, so much more.
Tune IN. Be inspired.
A pink flamingo sunrise begins to filter into my bedroom. The black onyx sky has turned its back allowing the sapphire silk of daytime to awaken the world. Some days I am up before the dance of dark and dawn. I used to hear a rooster crowing down the street but the silence may reveal that he became a tasty, dinner feast.
Drowsy, my morning ritual consists of a gratitude prayer before my feet even hit the ground infusing the day with grace. As I quietly walk into the kitchen, I take my red espresso maker adding deliciousness transported from Bali to my stovetop for an invigorating wake up. I bless those who grew the beans, packed them, brought them over to the States to finally reach my palette. Aware of the interconnectedness of life, I am deeply grateful for this miracle.
As the coffee brews, I make my bed with dreams still lingering. Meaning makers, message carriers, terrifying as well as truth revealing, amusing vignettes of my subconscious all come together for an evening of other dimensional travel. Back to the kitchen, I patiently wait for my aromatic treat, just being present. Coffee in hand, I return to my bedroom, grab my Morning Pages that are in my purple, college ruled notebook and begin to write.
The creative genius of Julia Cameron’s The Artist Way is the basis of this morning practice. I have been sitting since May 19, 1998 in this ritual of release, remember and awakening bearing witness to my life and aspirations. I began with emerald green notebooks, filling the pages with frustrations, insights, dreams, visions, daily events, adventures, fears and possibilities. Twenty minutes of morning writing – my hand only pausing while I lift my mug to sip on my delicious coffee. Thoughts flowing, clearing any clutter, bearing witness to all struggles, unveiling lurking patterns that have tripped me along the way like subtle bullies while highlighting the victories.
My Morning Pages have been my loyal companion to the direct experience of my mind and the calling of my heart and soul. Visions that clearly were something greater than me emerged asking to be acknowledged by writing them down. An invitation for a new life always awaited me inspiring my choices to be in alignment with my higher purpose.
The commitment of the Morning Pages was to ignite my creativity. Three pages, long hand – that was all that was required. What began as a 12-week course in unleashing my artist has been a saving grace of my sanity, a balm for my soul. The journey of healing from a long-term illness began as a quest for my artistry. The bonus was a morning ritual that has cultivated my spirituality and crafted a new way of seeing and being. As I sit with notebook #121 (70 pages times 120 notebooks equal 8,400 pages of my life), every blank page is a canvas of the dance of awakening in the light and shadows of this planet.
With a pen in hand, I listen to my ego, my heart, as my soul pours forth daily. Along
the way, I detailed the daily encounters of the world, the fears of Y2K, the destruction of Mother Earth, the decimation of my dreams of being a film director in Los Angeles as my body was ravaged with some unknown predator called Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome, the healing as well as poetic musings of living life, aware and vibrantly alive. Up close and personal to every fear and edging towards evolution with every revelation, I was a scribe to a journey of awakening to wholeness.
“Fear has been my mortal enemy. Fear has chained my soul to a level of misery that I believe caused this illness that I have. My mother expressed to me her intense fear to speak up without embarrassment. It’s that voice in the shadow that mocks you before you even try something.” – 5.19.98 ~ 9:55am Notebook #1
Recently, I began to sift through my past, reread some of my earliest writings. I noticed similar stories that linger – the desire for freedom, the necessity for making money doing what I love, the longing for greater, creative expression as well as the affirmations for greater living that have supported me along the way. I witnessed history and the musings of my pint sized gurus – nieces and nephews. I see an evolution of consciousness and the emergence of a new life healed from that great teacher who led me on a long-term retreat for my soul.
I see the shift in consciousness from when I began – although deeply metaphysical, dualism seeped through the early pages. As the years sauntered along, I immersed myself in Science of Mind, a spiritual philosophy that affirms we live in a universe that is Good and there is a Greater Power to co-create our lives and that Power lives as each one of us as an individualized expression. A shift began - my focal point was less about fear and blame and more about possibilities and an expansive inner view.
I invite you on this inner journey of awakening. Here are a few, easy steps to begin your day with The Morning Pages.
1. Create a sacred space for your morning writing ritual. Decorate it anyway you want. Mine is shared space - a combination of an altar and my computer on top of my mother’s former, sewing machine table. Amythest crystals sit in consciousness with Citrite. Mala beads from Amma, the Hindu hugging saint dance with the ones from the Tibetan monks. Photos of my matriarchal ancestors smile at me. Affirmation cards, pens in decorated mugs sit alongside my computer to inspire me.
2. Buy a notebook that is solely for the Morning Pages. I use 70 Sheet College Ruled notebooks. It’s a consistent look for my long-term practice and I buy a dozen when school supplies are on sale in August. When I see the purple notebooks, I know these are only Morning Pages.
3. Maintain a daily ritual that invites you to keep your commitment to yourself. The Morning Pages are a “basic tool” that are supposed to be a “pointless process...of stream of consciousness.” Julia Cameron invites you to just move your hand across the page and simply write three pages.
4. Once your morning pages ritual is complete, close your notebook or journal and let it go. There is no need to reread them immediately, to process them or to judge or praise them. This is simply a tool. Later on, they may become a wealth of information that highlights your journey but allow them to be an unconditional expression of your mind. Step away from your pages and move forward in your day.
Allow the morning pages to be a ritual that invites you into awakening. With eyes that see, ears that hear from a higher perspective, your lens will be one of Gratitude.